The average dude on Life Balance- Workaholics Anonymous
You ever have one of those days where you wonder how the hell the scale tipped so far this way that you're holding on by a string? Ever looked at your own life and imagined it as being one of those movies where a car is over the edge of a cliff and if someone comes to get you, they may throw the car off balance and over the cliff? Ever thought to yourself, I feel so out of balance.. in fact I feel like I have vertigo?
I think most days I'm an average dude, and I suffer from the same thought processes as many other people in the world. This means I am succeptible to things like an addictive personality (which I know I have) and putting my life out of balance. In fact, I tend to think, we as humans have a very hard time with balance. You see, in everything I do, I give it 100% and it is hard for me to focus on ANYTHiNG else when I am involved in something. It was like this with the gym ownership, the fire service, family ,relationships, heck, even working and learning to find balance.
I struggle daily with balance. One definition of balance is a condition in which different elements are equal or in the correct proportions.
How does this apply to life? Well, there are so many elements in life that we can easily get ourselves out of proportion. At one point in my life, I was like that guy you always hear about spinning plates. My first plate, I spun really well. Then I added a second plate, and it took a little focus from the first plate, but I was able to keep both spinning. Then I added another, and another and another.. until I had so many plates I was spinning, I had a hard time keeping them all going. In fact, i stopped spinning some of them at all and lost focus on them. Some of the plates dropped and I couldn't glue them back together fast enough. However I had not learned my lesson.. yet... because I kept trying to spin the plates.
One day, i woke up and looked around and started looking and re-evaluating what is important in life. It wasn't until I really got into dating the woman I am with now that I really had to take a long hard look at what I was doing. I started realizing that I was a workaholic who had a passion for changing others lives and living fairly carefree and not worrying about the personal life to realizing my personal life is where I would become more fulfilled and I needed to adjust to where I was working to live and not living to work. Raise your hand if you suffer from the latter thought process! I know for sure for a while, I had issues with realizing that work came first (Until my kids came during the summer.. then it was 100% into the kids). I have had to learn and still work daily on learning that money ISN'T success and that having money is to sustain life. Realizing that I'm not sustaining life to make money and that while setting up for the future is important, so is enjoying the moment.
Below is an example of some of the things that I feel are in jeopardy of being out of balance. Keep reading below.
I talk to a lot of people about living in the present and being present each and every moment. I think we all struggle with that. It's very easy to get consumed by thoughts of what we have to do today or what we are "worried about" or what stresses us out. We all have to watch ourselves and our natural tendencies to get out of balance. Here is what I have learned about myself and how to work on balance:
1) Work is work. It is what I do for a living, but it doesn't define who I am. It is a part of my life that I enjoy, and that I always hope to do well at.
2) Money is not my definition of success. Money is a tool to live a fulfilled life. Of course the more I make, the easier life is, but at what cost?
3) Opportunity cost. There is a cost to everything you do. It doesn't matter what it is. It's called opportunity cost. If I do this, there is another opportunity I may be giving up. In terms of life, if I work overtime (Which I love to do) I miss out on family time, or time with the woman I love, or the kids, or the events they have going on, or on going dirt bike riding, or on any number of things. Another example of opportunity cost is college... I took the opportunity to go to college, but may have missed the opportunity to go to work earlier in the hope of improving my future. You have to weigh in the factor of opportunity cost in the equation of balance.
4) The people and relationships in your life make up the experiences and lessons we learn- Developing and maintaining relationships with people can be a challenge, but there are people in our lives that we know are important and help us with learning lessons and help us create experiences in life. Remember that it takes work to keep friendships, relationships, and the such going so don't forget that it will take effort on your part to keep those relationships alive
5). Let go of the past and live in the present. Sometimes in our quest for balance, we get caught up in what has happened to us in the past and we let it control our forward decisions. Your past is a part of who you have become today, but it doesn't have to dictate how you interact with the world. you control yourself in every moment. You can change how you are behaving and how you are approaching balance at any time, just by making the decision to do so.
6) Ask yourself a few questions if you find yourself out of balance:
Why do you feel that way?
What is distracting you or where are you focussed?
Is that the most important thing to focus on at the moment?
Is this a temporary off balance moment or are you making it a habit?
How is it impacting other areas of your life?
7) Temporary imbalance is not bad at all. In fact, as we go through different chapters in our lives, we may find that we focus more on one area than another. and that's ok. But remember that it might not be as fulfilling as you think in the long run.
8) Write down what's important to you and what your priorities are. If you have a significant other, be clear with them and discuss this list with them. Help them help you create balance and focus on what's important. Hold yourself accountable to them or to others who you respect in your life.
9) Write down all your stressors before you go to bed. SLEEP is just as important as anything else. if we are worried before we go to bed, it can haunt us into a sleepless night.
10) Don't forget to live life. So many people go through life on the hamster wheel and forget to look around and enjoy the small moments. Those small moments may keep your balance in perspective and help you achieve a better life.
These are just a few suggestions I am learning to help keep my life in balance and check. I still suck at keeping balance sometimes, but once I moved away from the city and got away from a gym that I took the problems home with me every night, I learned more and more about balance. Today, I go home and most times my phone is off, my connection to the outside world is minimal and I focus on the other side of my life. I still have dreams and YES, I focus on them (Including writing a book and becoming a regular blogger) and yes I constantly struggle to not get too far the other way but I am working on it every day. Anyone who says they have it figured out.. is probably learning more about themselves every day too.
Here's to life balance, and learning each and every day how to create more balance in your life!
Hakuna Matata!
I think most days I'm an average dude, and I suffer from the same thought processes as many other people in the world. This means I am succeptible to things like an addictive personality (which I know I have) and putting my life out of balance. In fact, I tend to think, we as humans have a very hard time with balance. You see, in everything I do, I give it 100% and it is hard for me to focus on ANYTHiNG else when I am involved in something. It was like this with the gym ownership, the fire service, family ,relationships, heck, even working and learning to find balance.
I struggle daily with balance. One definition of balance is a condition in which different elements are equal or in the correct proportions.
How does this apply to life? Well, there are so many elements in life that we can easily get ourselves out of proportion. At one point in my life, I was like that guy you always hear about spinning plates. My first plate, I spun really well. Then I added a second plate, and it took a little focus from the first plate, but I was able to keep both spinning. Then I added another, and another and another.. until I had so many plates I was spinning, I had a hard time keeping them all going. In fact, i stopped spinning some of them at all and lost focus on them. Some of the plates dropped and I couldn't glue them back together fast enough. However I had not learned my lesson.. yet... because I kept trying to spin the plates.
One day, i woke up and looked around and started looking and re-evaluating what is important in life. It wasn't until I really got into dating the woman I am with now that I really had to take a long hard look at what I was doing. I started realizing that I was a workaholic who had a passion for changing others lives and living fairly carefree and not worrying about the personal life to realizing my personal life is where I would become more fulfilled and I needed to adjust to where I was working to live and not living to work. Raise your hand if you suffer from the latter thought process! I know for sure for a while, I had issues with realizing that work came first (Until my kids came during the summer.. then it was 100% into the kids). I have had to learn and still work daily on learning that money ISN'T success and that having money is to sustain life. Realizing that I'm not sustaining life to make money and that while setting up for the future is important, so is enjoying the moment.
Below is an example of some of the things that I feel are in jeopardy of being out of balance. Keep reading below.
I talk to a lot of people about living in the present and being present each and every moment. I think we all struggle with that. It's very easy to get consumed by thoughts of what we have to do today or what we are "worried about" or what stresses us out. We all have to watch ourselves and our natural tendencies to get out of balance. Here is what I have learned about myself and how to work on balance:
1) Work is work. It is what I do for a living, but it doesn't define who I am. It is a part of my life that I enjoy, and that I always hope to do well at.
2) Money is not my definition of success. Money is a tool to live a fulfilled life. Of course the more I make, the easier life is, but at what cost?
3) Opportunity cost. There is a cost to everything you do. It doesn't matter what it is. It's called opportunity cost. If I do this, there is another opportunity I may be giving up. In terms of life, if I work overtime (Which I love to do) I miss out on family time, or time with the woman I love, or the kids, or the events they have going on, or on going dirt bike riding, or on any number of things. Another example of opportunity cost is college... I took the opportunity to go to college, but may have missed the opportunity to go to work earlier in the hope of improving my future. You have to weigh in the factor of opportunity cost in the equation of balance.
4) The people and relationships in your life make up the experiences and lessons we learn- Developing and maintaining relationships with people can be a challenge, but there are people in our lives that we know are important and help us with learning lessons and help us create experiences in life. Remember that it takes work to keep friendships, relationships, and the such going so don't forget that it will take effort on your part to keep those relationships alive
5). Let go of the past and live in the present. Sometimes in our quest for balance, we get caught up in what has happened to us in the past and we let it control our forward decisions. Your past is a part of who you have become today, but it doesn't have to dictate how you interact with the world. you control yourself in every moment. You can change how you are behaving and how you are approaching balance at any time, just by making the decision to do so.
6) Ask yourself a few questions if you find yourself out of balance:
Why do you feel that way?
What is distracting you or where are you focussed?
Is that the most important thing to focus on at the moment?
Is this a temporary off balance moment or are you making it a habit?
How is it impacting other areas of your life?
7) Temporary imbalance is not bad at all. In fact, as we go through different chapters in our lives, we may find that we focus more on one area than another. and that's ok. But remember that it might not be as fulfilling as you think in the long run.
8) Write down what's important to you and what your priorities are. If you have a significant other, be clear with them and discuss this list with them. Help them help you create balance and focus on what's important. Hold yourself accountable to them or to others who you respect in your life.
9) Write down all your stressors before you go to bed. SLEEP is just as important as anything else. if we are worried before we go to bed, it can haunt us into a sleepless night.
10) Don't forget to live life. So many people go through life on the hamster wheel and forget to look around and enjoy the small moments. Those small moments may keep your balance in perspective and help you achieve a better life.
These are just a few suggestions I am learning to help keep my life in balance and check. I still suck at keeping balance sometimes, but once I moved away from the city and got away from a gym that I took the problems home with me every night, I learned more and more about balance. Today, I go home and most times my phone is off, my connection to the outside world is minimal and I focus on the other side of my life. I still have dreams and YES, I focus on them (Including writing a book and becoming a regular blogger) and yes I constantly struggle to not get too far the other way but I am working on it every day. Anyone who says they have it figured out.. is probably learning more about themselves every day too.
Here's to life balance, and learning each and every day how to create more balance in your life!
Hakuna Matata!
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